For many years I struggled to overcome depression, anxiety,
stress, and panic with the help of a therapist, medication, hospitalization and groups.
I know that many have been helped in a very positive way with these treatments. Speaking only for myself, the one thing that gave me any measure of relief and help (not cure) was a self help group that in time I became a facilitator for. For a short time I was happy to live with the idea that if I diligently practiced using all the tools that had been given me I would be able to function on a daily basis even with my mental illness. Being a nervous patient the rest of my life was ok with me as long as I could control my symptoms. All of this was relief, relief, relief, and I am to this day very grateful.
One day it came to me that this nervous patient mentality could not continue, the belief that I had a mental illness was giving me license to stay sick--an excuse--and that I was choosing to render myself injured. What really happened was, I finally lost my patience over being a patient, and that's when I started getting well.
Through trial and error, with no one to bounce off of as I went along, I found a spark of life within myself that allowed me to keep on fighting. In this blind and groping way, going with what worked
and discarding what didn't, I lifted myself from a lifelong depression and all its many symptoms. I learned, by many different approaches, to train my mind and thoughts to choke the life out of the sadness and the symptoms, one small victory at a time. I also came to the realization that everyone I had met with similar problems had one thing in common: lack of self-love
and problems with relationships, family, friends, or romantic partnerships. I had to develop a way to love myself.
I celebrated my success in obtaining good mental health by deciding to share what I have learned, thus becoming a personal life coach.
This journey involves defeating the incredibly powerful force of resistance to the everyday pleasures of being alive that is the hallmark of our
disease; this strange, constricting fear of ordinary joy, something so modest and yet so difficult for people like us to experience. So great is our fear of joy that every time it appears in our lives we quickly shut the door in its face.
Believe me, this is one illness that does not get better by pampering it. It is like a snake that coils around your neck and chokes the very joy of life out of you. It is vicious by nature and that is why you can't get well by describing your symptoms, over and over, year after year to anyone that is kind enough to listen. The cure requires some very basic changes in behavior and thoughts.........no easy task!!
The path that I learned to travel may at first sound too elementary and easy, but I assure you it is more work than perhaps you have ever done in your life. It also takes a real blind leap of faith. You cannot afford to question the way to a symptom free life, to question it is to destroy it. This is where my job begins
I use my therapist skills as a coach. I don't use clinical terms like patient. I don't treat, I train. The difference is, I train with the full knowledge of the underlying sadness that is so profound it defies
your powers of description. I know what it is to walk in your shoes and to keep company with your demons. Remember I have experienced the nervous disorders, and the pain you are in. I also know that you can get rid of your pain by taking action in spite of your symptoms.
You grow from the discomfort of that stretch. Personal trainers motivate their clients through the pain of training their
bodies. I do the same in the training of my clients thoughts and attitudes. I help train you to trust your judgment and body to do the right thing for you. You will learn that your inner mind accepts everything at face value and that it is possible to lie to your inner mind, the inner mind will then play on the lies and act out the drama of fear and illness.
Because of the persistence of this disease, conquering it requires patient repetition, carefully supervised, before old, automatic responses can be changed. I am a gentle taskmaster, but I will insist on certain things. Discomfort is a guarantee---no pain, no gain, and all that--but you will be greatly rewarded.
I am ready for your powerful resistance to good things. I will keep you from slamming the door in the face of joy. I will guide you throughout the inevitable setbacks and prevent you from beating yourself up when they happen. I will show you how you have no control over the setback, but how you
do have control over the duration. I will keep you aware of any false sense of well being, so that when the air is taken from your balloon, and it will be, you won't land too hard. I work hard to turn your thinking and attitudes around, until you start seeing your problems as gifts and lessons, not failures.
I keep the focus on your accomplishments, big and small, (they are all big) which people like us
have difficulty recognizing. I protect them from being disparaged, ignored, minimized, forgotten--all the ways people like us trash our own essential goodness---the very thing that will get us well (self-love). I will guard these like a junkyard dog. I coach through one success at a time, one setback at a time, pursuing a series of winnable goals, until one day that great, unrelenting sadness leaves you. We can change the chemistry in our brain by changing our attitude and actions.
I don't know how or why this gift for healing this illness came to me. All I know is that it worked for me and it is working for countless others. I don't see any reason why it shouldn't work for anyone who is willing to take that blind leap of faith and work very, very hard.
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I have been in the Coaching profession, both corporate and
personal, for over twenty years.
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I have extensive training in the area of mental health, with a strong focus on nervous symptoms.
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I have made the decision to "specialize" in
stress reduction, depression, anxiety and panic disorders.
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I keep my skills updated through my associations
with "ADAA - Anxiety Disorder Association of America", "NASE - National
Association for Self-Esteem", "University of Wisconsin-Madison - Certification
for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", The Coaches Training
Institute" and "Coach U" ,and am a
member in good standing with
the International Coaches Federation.
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Coaching is my gift and my passion.
Hence, I have experienced much success
and fulfillment, while joining my clients
on their journey
to a more
balanced and quality life.
Life can do a number on us, but we can undo the number. Let me show you how.